| Okay guys... Ive spent hours on this weblong and I think its worth your time to read it:
Hoedowns and Hootin'anies
For a long time in the american culture, there has been much dispute over two major titles: Howdowns and Hootinanies. The typical notherner may look at these topics and think to themselves "why, there is no difference. A hoedown is a hootinany, and a hootinany is, ofcourse, a hoedown." Yet my friend, I have some sad sad news for you. You are not only wrong, but also an idiot. The colossal difference between Hoedowns and Hootinanies can be demonstrated through the three simple steps of neucleo-physics, ethereal chemical analysis, and the endodermic-exothermic dissociation Constant.
As every complete moron knows, the nucleoleosis is the DNA retina in protoplasym that discharges the elecrical pulses to the outward filia of the photosythesis pseudo-pods. So in conclusion, we can say that Hoedowns and Hootinanys are completely different.
Secondly, ethereal chemical analysis comes into play. This topic involves the analysis of chemicals in the field of that which is ethereal. A lot of scientific stuff happens, and because you probably cant understand it, you'll just have to take my word for it. The proof is undeniable.
The last topic really doesnt make any sense, so I think Ill just talk about squids. You see, squids originated way back in the day before there were no squids. God looked upon the earth and said "something is not right in the world, I must look into this." So he created woman. THen he looked back and said "Nope, that wasnt it." so he created the squid, and saw that it was good. But because adam really digged that chick, he allowed her to stay anyways.
As you can see, through the processies of science, the facts are undeniable. Hoedowns and hootinanys are completely different. From the beginning of time, they have been exact opposites. Before the birth of christ... even before electricity, there were two nomad groups of naked indians in grass huts: the Hoedownians and the hootinanians. Obviously, these tribes made much war with eachother. They were both naked, and very angry. The hoedoenians would be throwing their pre-squash-planting season party, with their reed flutes and such... and then the hootinanys would be throwing THEIR parties, with their mandolins made of baby antelopes. And the incompetant nomad naked cowboys would wander in to a hootinany and be like "gee golly, what a hoe-down!" But then the indians would get pissed, and the cowboys would get burried in an ant-hill and slowly eaten to death by millions of indians. So in conclusion, All I have to say is this. Hoedowns are evil. Never go. E Pluribus Unum.
-Brent |
